#metoo

Personal Stories: The Path of Perseverance

Personal Stories: The Path of Perseverance

Myra Nawabi, a female refugee from a royal family in Afghanistan shares her story of fleeing her country to America as a young child in search of a brighter, bigger future only to find herself quitting on her dream of becoming an astronaut due to negative influences and sexist comments before eventually creating a successful career at Lockheed Martin Space Systems where she is now Senior Project Engineer & Program Manager for Advanced Technology Center.  She is also Founder of the largest and most active LeanIn Circle in the US (Palo Alto).  She credits much of her success due to her experience with a male ally or mentor.

Personal Stories: Hearing Impairment, Microagressions and More

Personal Stories: Hearing Impairment, Microagressions and More

In Pt. 3 of Personal Stories of Inequity, the panel continues as Joe Vasquez, Co-Director at Runway Incubator shares his stories and lessons of struggle with microaggressions as a hearing impaired Latino in the mainstream and corporate world.  He discusses the importance of the variety of accessible gateways of expression, including art, and how they allowed him to fully reveal his perspectives to others. Through his experiences, Joe has developed a passion for helping entrepreneurs and corporations to innovate more support, love, and value in the workplace.  Despite his hearing impairment, Joe has also learned how to be a male ally.

Personal Stories: Feelings, Safety and Covering

Personal Stories: Feelings, Safety and Covering

Today in Personal Stories: Feelings, Safety and Covering, Noni Allwood, a Latin corporate executive specializing in optimization strategies for diverse talent and strategic business operations shares that she was "covering" or concealing who she was due to fear of not being accepted when she started her career here in the states.  She then goes on to tell an inspiring story of an ally who supported her in advancing her career. 

Personal Stories: Awareness and Intersectional Perspectives

Personal Stories:  Awareness and Intersectional Perspectives

The #MeToo movement and stories has inspired people to share stories of and has brought new awareness to just how rampant sexual assault is.  Research shows that hearing how someone is impacted by sensitive issues or something we aren’t aware of or understand is powerful in helping those seemingly unaffected or those who aren’t aware of the issues at hand become aware, compassionate, empathetic and/or use their privilege to help make positive change.  It is in this spirit that we invited 4 individuals to share their stories of inequity and/or lack of inclusion at the Better Man Conference last month.

Allyship and Every Man's Connection To A Woman in Pt. 3 of Allies In Action

Allyship and Every Man's Connection To A Woman in Pt. 3 of Allies In Action

This week in Pt. 3 of "Allies In Action",  Rachana asks our male allies and leaders in the business world about how having a natural relationship with a woman in their life has reinforced and strengthened their positions as allies and at what degree they open up their personal experiences to their fellow CEO's, co-workers or peers.  They discuss bringing heart and stories in to male ally efforts as well.

Today's post concludes the "Allies In Action" that took place at the Better Man Conference 2017 - Engaging Men As Allies where Rachana Bhide of Bloomberg and Founder of The Corner Of The Court Project was joined by Jon Murphy, Sr. Dir. of Sales Operations at Blue Shield and Co-Founder of the Manning Up for Gender Inclusion Program along with Jim Wunderman,  President and CEO of the Bay Area Council, a CEO lead public policy and advocacy.

For Men Who Want to Be Allies: Moving Through the Fear

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Last week when I introduced Part 2 of our Allies In Action blog series, I promised I would share tips on how men who want to be allies to gender equality can move through fear that might be holding them back.

Today, I follow through with that promise and we'll share Part 3 of Allies In Action on this blog next week.

Setting the Context

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As men in the time of the #MeToo and #TimesUp movements, we have a choice: we can respond by standing up and speaking up, we can react or we can recoil. For women reading this, I want to start by acknowledging your efforts and the courage it takes to speak up, both as a group and as individuals. Your actions have put the light on what us guys need to do. This blog entry is directed towards the men. We have much work to do in order to be formidable partners! And we need the women’s support.

Women are calling out the bad behavior of men which is both unfortunate and necessary. This current “call out” phase has many men reluctant to say or do anything for fear of potential unintended consequences.

It is these men that I hope are the good majority, that I respectfully both invite and challenge to turn the fear into action by putting yourself on the path of being an ally. If you’re unsure about how to do this, a conscious partnership of the head and heart will allow you to acknowledge the feeling (in this case, fear) and consciously choose to “write a new story” about how you will act and where you will act from.

Using Your Head

Ray Arata, Founder of the Better Man Conf. and Co Founder of Inclusionary Leadership Group

Ray Arata, Founder of the Better Man Conf. and Co Founder of Inclusionary Leadership Group

Putting yourself on the path of being an ally and moving through fear requires you to both acknowledge and own your biases and their impact on others. This means that you are human. It doesn't mean is that there is something wrong with you. Bringing awareness to our biases, behaviors and their impacts, intended or not, allows us to make different choices about how we act.

Connecting With Your Heart

We men have the opportunity to step into healthy masculine behaviors, not just for ourselves, but for the young men who will follow us. A vital component is emotional literacy. Being an ally requires men to experience our emotions instead of reacting or recoiling away from them. An important step for allies is listening from the heart, with empathy and compassion, in order to hear the stories and challenges that women experience. It also requires us to take an interest in and learn about what is emotionally true for us.

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Men Need Courage To Confront and Move Through Fears Of Being Allies

Men who want to be allies will need courage to confront and move through our fears.

The latin root of courage is Cor, which means heart. We experience our emotions with our heart. Experiencing fear and acknowledging it without recoiling from it is the trick.

Instead of remaining at a safe distance from experiencing the emotions that connect to the “old stories” in our heads about what we fear might happen, we can make the choice to access our courage and put ourselves on the path of being an ally. Turn your fear into positive action.

Why would you do this? I can’t answer that for you although Dr. Kimmel shares the benefits to men of engaging in gender equality in a prior blog found here.  I can share that for me, it’s how I can look myself in the mirror and be proud of my choices to act. I can also share that I have powerful relationships with women who support me and partner with me. I can also find solace in knowing that I am modeling the kind of behavior for the men and women in my life that contributes to everyone feeling included, including me!

The alternative to stay silent, on the sidelines and be painted with the brush that says we are all the same is always an option, but you don’t have to choose it.  I invite you to stand up and speak up, it's time.

Ray Arata, Founder of the Better Man Conference and Co Founder of Inclusionary Leadership Group


CALL TO SPEAKERS!

Better Man Conference 2018: Call To Speakers, Panelists, and More

We invite business professionals, concerned citizens, expert practitioners and allies to share their voices for the 3rd annual Better Man Conference. We are securing dates and locations soon, but looking forward to these timelines/locations:

  • BMC San Francisco- October 26, 2018 (Application deadline August 15th, 2018)
  • BMC New York- November 6, 2018 (Application deadline August 15th, 2018)

We expect 150+ people in NYC and 250+ in SF. Previous registrants were 60/40 Men/Women and included:

Better Man Conference 2017

Better Man Conference 2017

  • Executives, Leaders, Emerging Leaders, Change Makers.
  • Human Resources, Diversity Staff and Council Leaders.
  • Learners and Leaders seeking workforce inclusion.,

The conference theme, STAND UP. SPEAK UP. IT’S TIME. is intended to educate, inspire and move male allies into action in support of women and target groups. Given the context of the #MeToo and #TimesUp movements, the focus of The Better Man Conference is on galvanizing men inside organizations by providing them with the tools to support partnership and the role that healthy masculinity plays.  Learn more or apply here.


THANK YOU to 2017 BETTER MAN CONFERENCE SPONSORS

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THANK YOU to 2017 BETTER MAN CONFERENCE MARKETING PARTNERS


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CONTACT Ray@InclusionaryLeaders.com TO EXPLORE SPONSORSHIP OPPORTUNITIES FOR THE  2018 BETTER MAN CONFERENCE

Study: 74% Of Men Afraid To Get Involved In Gender Equality-Pt. 2 Allies In Action

Study: 74% Of Men Afraid To Get Involved In Gender Equality-Pt. 2 Allies In Action

Last week we began sharing a transcript and video of a series entitled, "Allies In Action".  This week in part 2, a recent Catalyst study on how to engage men shows 74% of men interviewed having real fears of getting involved in gender equality.  In part 2 of "Allies in Action", Rachana Bhide of Bloomberg and Founder of The Corner Of The Court Project cites the top 3 fears from that study and asks corporate male leader allies if they should be taken in to account when recruiting male allies.   But first she asks them to comment on their own experience as related to the question, "What are some of the things that men then do as allies to carry forward so it's not a once-and-done?"   

This discussion took place at the Better Man Conference 2017 - Engaging Men As Allies where Rachana was joined by John Murphy, Sr. Dir. of Sales Operations at Blue Shield and Co-Founder of the Manning Up for Gender Inclusion Program along with Jim Wunderman,  President and CEO of the Bay Area Council, a CEO lead public policy and advocacy organization.

Where To Engage Men In The Workplace - Pt. 2 of Problem, Opportunities And Solutions For Gender Equality In Corp. Culture

Where To Engage Men In The Workplace - Pt. 2 of Problem, Opportunities And Solutions For Gender Equality In Corp. Culture

In last week's blog, Dale Thomas Vaughn, Co Founder of Gender Leadership Group described gender equality problems and opportunities as related to corporate culture.  This week he covers the solutions and then begins a panel discussion entitled The Inclusion Roadmap: Where to Start Engaging Men in the Workplace.  He welcomes Dr. Ronald Copeland from Kaiser Permanente, MD Senior Vice President and Chief Diversity Officer of National Diversity Inclusions, Strategy and Policy, and Lesley Slaton Brown from HP Inc., Chief Diversity Officer.  The series then continues with Nadia Chargulaf, Telstra Vice President of Human Resources for U.S. Operations and Mike Dillon from PwC, who’s the Chief Diversity Officer.

Problem, Opportunities And Solutions For Gender Equality In Corporate Culture

Problem, Opportunities And Solutions For Gender Equality In Corporate Culture

In this talk, Dale Thomas Vaughn, Co Founder of Gender Leadership Group covers the problem, the opportunities, and the solutions he sees in the corporate culture as related to gender equality and partnership.  He shares interesting statistics, that even men are uncomfortable with existing masculinity in the corporate culture, what gender equality has in it for men, his experience and fresh perspectives as a millennial male ally.

Jan Hutchins welcomes Dale to the stage at the Better Man Conference 2017 for his talk entitled Systemic Solutions for Corporate Culture Change.

Pt. 2 Conquering Blame, Valuing Differences as an Inclusionary Leader

Pt. 2 Conquering Blame, Valuing Differences as an Inclusionary Leader

On last week's blog we shared a talk on Conquering Blame by Ed Gurowitz, Co Founder of the Gender Leadership Group.  He discussed the victim-persecutor-rescuer dynamic and how it does not allow for inclusion or appreciation of differences.  This week, we continue the series by sharing alternatives actions in support of inclusionary leadership.

Conquering Blame, Valuing Differences plus Personal Stories of Inequity Concludes

Conquering Blame, Valuing Differences plus Personal Stories of Inequity Concludes

"We are hardwired as human beings to be victims because we are hardwired to scan our environment for threats, for something that’s going to happen to us.  If you look at it in terms of inclusion, inclusionary leadership requires a relationship that allows for inclusion, and that allows for appreciation of differences.  The Karpman Triangle does not allow for inclusion or appreciation of differences, because here differences are simply proof that there is something wrong."  Ed Gurowitz, Co Founder of the Gender Leadership Group 

Today we share a talk by Ed entitled, Conquering Blame which took place at the Better Man Conference 2017.  He discusses the victim-persecutor-rescuer dynamic and the alternative in support of inclusionary leadership.

From "I Quit" To Success In Pt. 4 Of Personal Stories Of Inequity

From "I Quit" To Success In Pt. 4 Of Personal Stories Of Inequity

Myra Nawabi, a female refugee from a royal family in Afghanistan shares her story of fleeing her country to America as a young child in search of a brighter, bigger future only to find herself quitting on her dream of becoming an astronaut due to negative influences and sexist comments before eventually creating a successful career at Lockheed Martin Space Systems where she is now Senior Project Engineer & Program Manager for Advanced Technology Center.  She is also Founder of the largest and most active LeanIn Circle in the US (Palo Alto).  She credits much of her success due to her experience with a male ally or mentor.

Being Hearing Impaired, Microagressions and more In Pt. 3 of Personal Stories of Inequity

Being Hearing Impaired, Microagressions and more In Pt. 3 of Personal Stories of Inequity


In Pt. 3 of Personal Stories of Inequity, the panel continues as Joe Vasquez, Co-Director at Runway Incubator shares his stories and lessons of struggle with microaggressions as a hearing impaired Latino in the mainstream and corporate world.  He discusses the importance of the variety of accessible gateways of expression, including art, and how they allowed him to fully reveal his perspectives to others. Through his experiences, Joe has developed a passion for helping entrepreneurs and corporations to innovate more support, love, and value in the workplace.  Despite his hearing impairment, Joe has also learned how to be a male ally.

From "Covering" to Feeling "Safe" in Pt 2. Personal Stories of Inequity

From "Covering" to Feeling "Safe" in Pt 2. Personal Stories of Inequity

In Pt. 2 of Personal Stories of Inequity, Noni Allwood, a Latin corporate executive specializing in optimization strategies for diverse talent and strategic business operations shares that she was "covering" or concealing who she was due to fear of not being accepted when she started her career here in the states.  She then goes on to tell an inspiring story of an ally who supported her in advancing her career. 

Personal Stories of Inequity

Personal Stories of Inequity

The #MeToo movement and stories has inspired people to share stories of and has brought new awareness to just how rampant sexual assault is.  Research shows that hearing how someone is impacted by sensitive issues or something we aren’t aware of or understand is powerful in helping those seemingly unaffected or those who aren’t aware of the issues at hand become aware, compassionate, empathetic and/or use their privilege to help make positive change.  It is in this spirit that we invited 4 individuals to share their stories of inequity and/or lack of inclusion at the Better Man Conference last month.