Privilege Is Invisible To Those Who Have It

In Part 2 of this series entitled, Gender Equality Has Something In It For Everyone-Including Men, Dr. Kimmel makes the point that privilege is invisible to those who have it while discussing obstacles to men's engagement for gender equality. Later in the series he'll share how men benefit from it.  We invite you to read Dr. Kimmel's transcript below or watch the video above.

Dr. Kimmel:

So what I want to do is I want to take the phrase, "gender equality" and I want to use that phrase to talk about two obstacles to men's engagement for gender equality.  And then I want to make the case about why we should support it, after I talk a little bit about those obstacles.  

Now the first obstacle has to do with the word "gender" in gender equality.  And that is those responses have nothing to do with men because we men most often don't think that gender has anything to do with us.  We think it has to do with women.  For most men gender is relatively invisible.  I mean if you hear the word gender or we have a discussion about gender, most men think we are going to have a discussion about women, right?  

I mean, if you teach a course in my university, if you were to teach a course called like Psychology of Women, you get 95% women in the class.  Teach a course called Psychology of Gender, you get 90% women in the class.

GENDER REMAINS LARGELY INVISIBLE TO MEN

One of my students once said, “Well real men don't study gender.” 

The idea of making gender visible is our first task because gender remains largely invisible to men.  Most men don't know that gender is as important to us, as women understand it is to them, and this is political.  

So I'm going to tell you my own story about how I first started thinking about this.  30 years ago when I was in graduate school just across the bay at Berkeley.  

(A) bunch of us got together, and you know how those of you who have ever enjoyed graduate school, you know like, graduate students are like a very strange group of people. They will read an article in a scholarly journal that seven other human beings on the face of the planet will have actually read but they will think it is of momentous importance.  So anyway, a bunch of us were sitting around one day and we were talking and somebody said, now this is 30 years ago and somebody said, “You know, there's an explosion of writing and thinking in feminist theory but there's no courses yet.”  So, we did what graduate students would typically do in a situation like that, we said, “Okay, let's have a study group.  We'll get together once a week, we'll read a text, we'll talk about it, we'll have a potluck dinner.”  So every week 11 women and me got together.  We would read some text and feminist theory and talk about it.

And during one of our meetings, I witnessed the conversation between two women that changed everything for me.  One of the women was white and one was black.  

The white woman said, this is the part that's going to sound really anachronistic now, the white woman said, “All women face the same oppression as women.  All women have a similar experience as women, and therefore all women have a kind of intuitive solidarity or sisterhood.”  And the black woman said, “I'm not so sure.  Let me ask you a question.”  

PRIVILEGE IS INVISIBLE TO THOSE WHO HAVE IT

So, the black woman says to the white woman, “When you wake up in the morning and you look in the mirror what do you see?”  And the white woman said, “I see a woman.”  And the black woman said, “You see, that's the problem for me, because when I wake up in the morning and I look in the mirror..” She said “I see a black woman.  To me race is visible but to you race is invisible, you don't see it.”  And then, she said something really startling, she said,  “That's how privileged works.”  “Privilege is invisible to those who have it.  It is a luxury  I will say to the white people sitting in this room that do not to have to think about race every split second of our lives.  Privilege is invisible to those who have it.”

So remember I was the only man in this group.  So, when I witnessed this I kind of groaned and I went, “Oh no...” and someone said, “Well what was that reaction?”  And I said, “Well, when I wake up in the morning and I look in the mirror, I see a human being. I'm kind of the generic person.  You know, I'm a middle-class white man.  I have no race, no class, no gender.  I'm universally generalizable.”  So I like to think that was the moment I became a middle-class white man…..that class, and race, and gender weren't about other people, but they were about me and I had to start thinking about them and it had been privileged that kept it invisible to me for so long.

Now I wish I could tell you this story ends 30 years ago in that little discussion group, but I was reminded of it quite recently. I have a female colleague at Stony Brook, where I teach, and she and I both teach the Sociology of Gender course on alternate semesters. So whenever it's my turn to teach, she'll always come to give a guest lecture for me and when it's her turn, I'll go give a guest lecture for her.  So I walk into her class of about 350 students to give a guest lecture and one of the students looks up as I walk in and says, “Oh finally, an objective opinion!”

THIS IS WHAT OBJECTIVITY LOOKS LIKE, YOU KNOW...DISEMBODIED WESTERN RATIONALITY

All that semester, whenever my colleague opened her mouth, what my students saw was a woman. Rayona, if you were to stand up in front of my students and say, “There is structural inequality based on gender in the United States.” they would say, “Well of course you'd say that, you're a woman, you're biased.”  When I say it they go, “Wow!  That's interesting. Is that going to be on the test?  How do you spell structural?”

One of the world's leading experts on men and masculinities, Dr. Michael Kimmel.

One of the world's leading experts on men and masculinities, Dr. Michael Kimmel.

So I want you to all see, I hope everybody even in the back can see, this (points to self) is what objectivity looks like.  You know, disembodied Western rationality.  

And, you know, women in the room know what I'm talking about because you've had a conversation, argument, disagreement,  discussion with a man who will say to you, “Now wait, let's look at this objectively.” The translation from Martian into Venusian is, “Let's look at this from my point of view.” This is objectivity.  So, this I believe is why men wear ties.  Because if you are going to embody, disembodied Western rationality, you need a signifier and what could be a better signifier of disembodied Western rationality, than a garment that at one end is a noose and the other end points to the genitals. That is mind-body dualism my friend.  Right there, very nice.

OUR FIRST TASK IN BRINGING MEN INTO A CONVERSATION ABOUT GENDER EQUALITY, IS BRINGING MEN IN TO A CONVERSATION ABOUT GENDER

So part of my argument so far is that our first task in bringing men into the conversation about gender equality, is bringing men into a conversation about gender.  Making us aware that gender is as important to us, as women understand it is, to them.  And that this is political.

Now the second obstacle I want to talk about is men's resistance to gender equality. Because there is a notion and not as shared in this room I'm happy to hear,  but there is a notion out there that gender equality is a zero-sum game that if women win, men are going to lose.  So I'm going to tell you a little bit about that.  

I was on a TV talk show few years ago very well-known black female host came out of Chicago and just let me state….(see Part 3 on this blog soon or you can watch it here now).

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MEN ARE PART OF THE SOLUTION

FOR GENDER EQUALITY

Men are part of the solution for gender equality yet Distinguished Professor of Sociology and Director of The Center for the Study of Men and Masculinities at Stoneybrook University indicates that many men believe gender inequality has nothing to do with them as men.  

The truth is, we need more men to do more.

 

WE AS MEN NEED TO ACCEPT FULL RESPONSIBILITY FOR OUR PART IN ADVANCING GENDER EQUALITY

 

In Part 1 of this series entitled, Gender Equality Has Something In It For Everyone-Including Men, Dr. Kimmel discusses how men engage with the idea of gender equality.  Later in the series he'll share how men benefit from it.  I invite you to read Dr. Kimmel's transcript below or watch the video below.

Dr. Kimmel:

Well, thank you. Oh, I am so happy to be here.

I've been talking with Ray about this conference and how excited I was to participate in it for a really long time, so I don't know if you've already done all this but give it up for Ray Arata, once again.

And the fact that we're all in the room, you know, why did we come to this  because of him and his vision of how we can engage men and boys to support gender equality?  And he knows what the argument that I'm going to make is, that it's actually in our interest to do so. So, here's what we know.  What we know is that we cannot fully empower women and girls unless we engage boys and men.  It's really just that simple.  There's never been a reform ever that women wanted that didn't require men's support.  Like what?  Suffrage?... You know...men are necessary in this conversation.

WE CANNOT FULLY EMPOWER WOMEN AND GIRLS UNLESS WE ENGAGE BOYS AND MEN

So part of what I want to do is, I want to talk a little bit about how men engage with the idea of gender equality, typically, and then I'm going to talk about why we should.  Let me suggest that some of the ways in which we typically engage with gender equality in all workplaces, miss the mark.  

Justin Trudea, Canadian Prime Minister

Justin Trudea, Canadian Prime Minister

For example, when you propose gender equality, when you hear gender equality in an organization or workplace, very often men will say something like, “Well, yes it's right, it's fair, it’s just, it's Democratic.”  The ethical imperative basically, but I don't think that gets you very far with men, typically. I think the best example of the ethical imperative, probably is Justin Trudeau the Prime Minister of Canada, who when asked by an inquiring journalist, “Why is half of your cabinet women?” With this perplexed look he said “Because it's 2015.”  Right?  Because like, of course.¨

So, but I find as an American my job is to try to sell gender equality to men and it's a marketing question and that selling, the ethical imperative doesn't take us very far now.  A lot of men, when they first hear that there's going to be a gender equality thing in their organization they say, “Oh, yeah, okay.  We get it.  We will invite them to join us.”  Now what that means is, “We will set a place for women at the table but we won't change the menu, we won't change the seating arrangements and so you are welcome at the table as long as basically you act just like us.”

There's a third reaction, which is the, you've seen these guys that the light bulb goes off over their head and they suddenly get it like, “Oh, yeah women's oppression, I completely get it.” And then they begin to mansplain to women their oppression and they have an idea that men’s support for gender equality is something akin to the cavalry like, “Thank you so much for bringing this to our attention ladies, we'll take it from here.” This results in a syndrome that I like to call premature self-congratulation.

And then there's another response which is a resistance, which I will come back to in a couple of minutes.  But all of these ideas, all of these reactions -  Oh and then don't you have these like when you have diversity inclusion week or something in your organization, it's sort of interpreted by men as, “Be nice to the ladies week.”,  like it's like Black History Month.  Which mercifully for white people is the shortest month of the year and then we can go back to our 11 white history months, right?   

These are all the ways in which we react to it and if you'll notice there's one thing that runs common through all of them, which is, “(It) has nothing to do with us as men.”  As men, they always have something to do with being nicer to women, setting a place for women, being ethical about it but we don't really think that this has anything to do with men.

So what I want to do is, I want to take the phrase gender equality and I want to use that phrase to talk about two obstacles to men's engagement for gender equality and then I want to make the case about why we support it and why we should support it after I talk a little bit about those obstacles.

Now, the first obstacle has to do with the word gender in gender equality. And that is, those responses have nothing to do with men because we men most often don't think that gender has anything to do with us, we think it has to do with women.....(see Part 2 on this blog soon or you can watch it here now).

 

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Igniting the Competitive Fire! Engage Men in Closing the Gender Gap

I couldn’t help but notice the tall, athletic, Italian looking, man in a room mostly populated by women in San Francisco’s City Hall. I was there reporting on Mayor Ed Lee’s kickoff press conference for the Gender Equality Challenge: Building a 21st Century Workplace. Notable people spoke of the increasing importance for businesses to close the gender gap simply because its good business. That is why the Mayor challenged the top 400 companies in San Francisco to rise to meet the 7 principles of Gender Equality*. (See list below).

I watched the man raise his hand just as they stopped fielding questions from the audience. He was wearing a bright Orange San Francisco Giants sweater under his sport coat.

I couldn’t resist going over and asking him, “What were you going to ask?”

He could barely contain his enthusiasm, “This is absolutely brilliant to make it a competition!” He then shared several questions he wanted to ask.

Where are the men?

“What is the plan to get the men to engage? What is the Win for Men in this that will move them into action? It seems the plan is intended to attract, motivate men.  I just don’t see how.”

He went on to explain to me that he has attended a number of gender equality events hosted by women when either he was the only man in attendance or there were very few men. And each time, he wondered, “where are the men”?

Figuring out the Win:

His next comment is what caught my attention. “Men haven’t figured out the win yet for themselves that will move them into action. It has been ingrained in men since they were very young that in competition it’s about winning. And typically with a winner comes a loser.  Men don’t want to lose. One fear that men have is that if they step forward and support gender equality, they will lose something; whether it losing face with male friends, a promotion ,  a client, money, or even the illusion that they are winning. This fear couldn’t be further from the truth and men need to understand that by stepping forward and supporting gender equality, everyone wins, including them.”

As I looked down to make sure I was recording everything he was saying, he continued. “If this challenge is going to be successful men will have to play a significant role.  They will have to get past the fear of losing something that so far is holding them back from embracing the  “win opportunity” that gender equality possesses.

Asking the right question and getting the right answers:

I then asked him what is holding men back?  His response was not the answer I thought I was looking for. He said, “The question you need to ask me is what is most important to men that would actually have them engage?”

He responded to his own question. “ There are two answers. One placates the head and the other the heart.

As for the head, the question many white male executives in power ponder is “What is the business case?” He referred to a new book that’s out, called The Athena Doctrine: How Women (And The Men Who Think Like Them) Will Rule the Future that clearly shows through research that by eliminating gender bias, companies can reap significant benefits, including improved access to and retention of top talent and higher employee commitment, thus impacting the bottom line. He challenged me, “Just ask any talent management executive about their spend.”

I watched his face smile and exude confidence when he shared the second reason. “What WILL MOVE MEN is being directed toward a healthy competition that will get men competing BUT for reasons bigger than themselves.” Now you’ve got a winner!

He looked intently at me and said, “Consider for a moment the power a father has over his children when it comes to their self esteem and confidence. Any young daughter (and son) can benefit from verbal acknowledgments and encouragement that validate the intended message of “ You can do anything you put your heart and mind to”. Now consider the incongruence of the very same man (the father) not doing everything he could TODAY to pave the way and close the gender gap”.  This is a matter of personal masculine integrity if you think about it”.

So I asked him what his plans were in light of what he had just shared with me.

With absolute masculine confidence (minus the machismo), he looked straight at me without hesitation and said, “ I’m going to do what any emotionally mature and accountable leader would do. I‘m going to take full responsibility for this timely idea and start a movement with a competition to engage as many men into action as possible. “

Before I knew what to say, out of my mouth came, where do I sign up?

A brief note for the women:

I wrote this as if I was someone else covering the press conference for two reasons. First, I was frustrated my questions came just as time ran out on the conference and wanted to give them voice. Second, it just felt good to write from my inner feminine. Did it help or hurt your interest in the piece?

Men have historically looked “outside themselves for the external validation that comes with winning, especially in competition. This challenge is an invitation and an opportunity for men to look inside and to connect to values of honor, respect, empathy and compassion. For some men, this is new territory.

Many men want to be honored, respected, and valued for their contribution(s), as well as winning.  You can support them by letting them know you appreciate them for who they are and what they do and that their role in closing the gender gap is needed and valued. Encourage them to set out on this leg of their Men’s Journey.

* Gender Equality Principles:
Based on the Calvert Women’s Principles

Organizations will take concrete steps to attain gender equality by adopting and implementing policies and practices in seven key areas:

1.  Employment and compensation. Policies that eliminate gender discrimination in areas such as recruitment, hiring, pay, and promotion.

2.  Work-life balance and career development. Policies that enable work-life balance and support educational, career, and vocational development.

3. Health, safety, and freedom from violence. Policies to secure the health, safety, and well-being of female workers.

4. Management and governance. Policies to ensure equitable participation in management and governance.

5. Business, supply chain, and marketing practices. Non-discriminatory business, supply chain, contracting, and marketing policies.

6. Civic and community engagement. Policies to promote equitable participation in civic life and to eliminate all forms of discrimination and exploitation.

7. Leadership, transparency, and accountability. Policies that are publicly disclosed, monitored, and enforced that display active commitment from top leadership.

Men Who Work Better w/ Women..More Successful-Lean In's Rachel Thomas

Becky Hammond, 1st female NBA coach coaching Kawhi Leonard, Spurs' guard.

In Part 3 of our blog series entitled, How Male Allies Can Support Women’s Emerging Success, Rachel Thomas, Co Founder of Lean In shares the benefits to men and fathers in supporting women's success which includes men finding more success themselves at work. Then, Becky Hammond, the first female NBA coach ever and one of the greatest coaches in NBA history, Gregg Popovich discuss their relationship and the opportunity he invited her to take advantage of with the San Antonio Spurs.

Below you'll find the Rachel Thomas transcript continues or you can watch the video.

NBA stars LeBron James, Stephen Curry, Dwyane Wade Lean In

NBA stars LeBron James, Stephen Curry, Dwyane Wade Lean In

So, switching gears, I want to tell you about, we just released the second season of a campaign, called Lean In Together with the NBA, hopefully some of you have been watching the games and have seen our ad, but it’s all about you! What men can do to support women and the benefits to everyone when you do.

 

So we know from research that active father’s raise kids that are happier, healthier, and more successful.  We know that equal partnerships (50/50 partnerships at home) we know those couples have stronger marriages and more sex, that’s an incentive.  And we also know that in the workplace, men who work better with women, and men who know how to tap the full talents of a team are more successful.

Draymond Green, Golden State Warriors Leans In

Draymond Green, Golden State Warriors Leans In

As part of the campaign we developed some videos, so, if you went to the website you would see Chris Bosh, Draymond Green, talking about how to be a 50/50 partner, an all star dad. And one that I wanted to show you today is Becky Hammon, who I hope all of you know is the first female coach of the NBA, and she’s talking about what a difference it made, the coaches in her life who pushed her forward, and they were her workplace MVPs.  So if we could just play it for a second: 

(Video plays)

Becky shouts, ¨What a great opportunity!  Alright!  Let’s go!  Come on, Come on!¨

San Antonio Spurs assistant coach, Becky Hammond with Head Coach, Gregg Popovich

San Antonio Spurs assistant coach, Becky Hammond with Head Coach, Gregg Popovich

Becky says, ¨I’m not here unless Coach (Popovich), kind of sees me genderless, he sees me as a person who knows basketball.¨

Coach Popovich says,  ¨That was a good test, you got through that!¨

Becky says:  ¨He didn’t care that I was a woman, what he cared about was, can I help the team and will I do a good job?¨ 

San Antonio Spurs Head Coach, Gregg Popovich

San Antonio Spurs Head Coach, Gregg Popovich

Coach Popovich says:  ¨She talks the game, she understands the game, so in that respect I have no doubts that she is going to be able to be one heck of a coach.¨ 

Becky shouts to San Antonio Spurs basketball team:  ¨Don’t get too cute out here!  Stay serious, stay focused!  Let’s play the right way!¨

Becky says:  ¨(Popovich) leaned in for me, big time and I think people want to put me on this barrier breaker.  Really (Popovich) is the barrier breaker.¨

 ¨You know, I might have been the tool but he thrust me through that ceiling.¨

Becky Hammond, San Antonio Spurs assistant coach.

Becky Hammond, San Antonio Spurs assistant coach.

Becky shouts to San Antonio Spurs: ¨Way to close, way to close!  Now we got some energy!  Let’s go, keep it up!¨ 

Becky says:  ¨The fact that he invited me into their inner circle was a huge vote of confidence and I do believe leadership knows no gender.  Traditionally, we had been taught to believe that leaders are only men and I think that’s why it’s important that little boys and little girls see women as strong and capable.  There’s tons of progress that needs to be made so we all have to Lean In.  We can’t just expect the guys to, we have to come in and support each other, just as much as we want the men to.¨

¨Support for the women you work with can go a long way, Lean In for gender equality.¨

(Video ends)

Rachel Thomas speaks:

Rachel Thomas of Lean In

Rachel Thomas of Lean In

So as part of the campaign we also developed a set of tips, lots of sets of tips actually, if you want to find more about being a Workplace MVP you can actually text us right now, “Work MVP@55888” and you will get a text tip once a week for six weeks and these are really easy things.  The idea is you read them one day and you do them the next.  If you go to our website, you’ll find more tips and information as well. We always pack a lot of data in anything we do and if you download the tips, you’ll see all the citations so it’s all sourced information, happy to share that and hope you’ll join us on the website.  I hope you’ll join us on social media with the hashtag #LeanInTogether.  And just really thrilled to be here because, thank you!  It’s really going to take men and women working together hand in glove to get to equality and to see the world differently and (I’m) so excited that everybody in the room is committed to the mission so thank you much!

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Pt. 2 How Male Allies Can Support Women's Emerging Success

In Part 2 of our blog series entitled, How Male Allies Can Support Women’s Emerging Success, Rachel Thomas, Co Founder of Lean In builds on what she shared in Part 1

Below you'll find the Rachel Thomas transcript continues or you can watch the video.

"We also know that women get more blame for failure and less credit for success.

(There's a) bunch of studies on this...I’ll share a couple of them with you.

So one, they looked at senior executive performance and what happened is when company performance is down, females are seen as less effective than men, they get more blame.  When company performance is up, senior executive men are seen as more effective, they get more credit for success.

There was also a research done recently, really interesting, an economist out of Harvard, looked at what happens when academics published papers.  So what is really interesting is that when a man publishes a paper himself, of course he gets all of the credit.  When a man publishes a paper in a group, he gets equal credit.  When a woman publishes a paper, as part of a group, if there is a man in the group, it is often assumed that the man was the leader on the paper, and she gets less credit.

So what can we do? How can we level the playing field for women?

 

INTERRUPT THE INTERRUPTERS

A couple really quick easy things everybody in this room can do and start doing today is interrupt the interrupters.  When you’re in a meeting and a woman gets interrupted, slow the meeting down and say,  “You know what, I really want to hear what Rachel had to say.”  

 

STEAL THE IDEA BACK

If you see someone run away with a woman's idea, steal the idea back, “That’s a great idea. When Rachel said it, I thought it was a good idea and I like the way you’re building on it.”  

 

CELEBRATE WOMEN'S ACCOMPLISHMENTS

And if women on your team aren't getting as much credit as they should - celebrate them, send an email, talk about it in a meeting….very little things that make a difference.  And the other thing is, it’s not just the right thing to do, it’s a smart thing for you to do.

Research tells us that when you advocate for someone on your team, whether they are male or a female, your status goes up.

 

LOOK AGAIN WHEN WOMEN DON'T GO FOR IT

The final thing is, look again when women don’t go for it.  

I was at a CEO dinner a couple months ago, a very prominent CEO male sitting next to me, and he believes in this.  He talks very publicly about advancing women, his company is investing money in women, but halfway through the dinner he looked over and said, “Rachel, God, I just wish women weren’t wired differently!  Like, they just aren’t as confident as men, they just don’t go for it!’”

So what’s interesting is he’s half right.  The research tells us that women are more likely to suffer from self-doubt.  Where he is wrong, is that, there is nothing innate about it.  There’s no special confidence gene that somehow women don’t have and men do have.  A lot is based on women’s experiences.  We tend to underestimate women’s performance and abilities, and overestimate men's.

As one really glaring example, if you take a resume with a woman's name on it and you change nothing but the name to a man’s name, the likelihood of that candidate getting hired goes up by over sixty percent.  

And what is crazy is that this is so deep seeded, so pervasive, that women actually do this to ourselves.  We underestimate our own abilities and performance.  And men, I don’t mean to lay it on you but, you slightly overestimate your own.

So it’s not surprising that women are more likely to suffer, from what we call, the impostor syndrome which is this crazy phenomenon that when you’re in a role, you deserve to be there, there’s nothing wrong with your performance and yet somehow you’re not sure, you’re not sure you belong in the spot you’re in.  Not to say that men don’t suffer from it as well, of course they do but (this is) much more prevalent in women.

Another reason for this, is women get mixed messages.  We send our girls messages like, “Speak up but not too loudly”,   “Study, but no one likes a smarty pants”,  “Take the lead but don’t be bossy.”  And for all the parents in the room, by middle school, girls are less interested in leading than boys.  This is a trend that continues life long and one of the main reasons girls site is fear of being less liked.

So what happens when we grow up... is now we’re in the workforce and we’re trying to be effective, we’re trying to be successful.  On one hand, we have to assert ourselves to be effective, on the other hand, we have to worry that we might not be liked, we might face social pushback when we do.  We’re effectively walking on a tightrope and men do not walk on the same tightrope.

So last year we did a study, Women In The Workplace, a hundred and eighteen companies participated (and a total of) thirty thousand employees.  For any of you companies in here who did not participate, it’s a great way to get data.  And not only get your own data, of course but all confidential.  We benchmark you both against your industry and peers and this year we’re going to benchmark you against top performers as well...so really valuable information. This is my little plug for this study so if you’re not signed up, please let us know.  Well with the thirty thousand employees that participated, women said they were three times more likely to miss out on a promotion, a raise, or an opportunity because of their gender.  Just think about that for a second, three times.

So it’s not surprising that women have less confidence, mixed messages, performance gender evaluated, not getting as many opportunities.

So what happens is (that) women typically need to meet a hundred percent of hiring criteria before they’ll go for a new job.  Men, you guys have it right, sixty percent!

I think it’s Wayne Gretskey, he said, “You miss a hundred percent of the shots you don’t take.”   So women aren’t taking as many shots and so we’re missing out on opportunities.

GIVE HER A LITTLE NUDGE

So what you can do?  When you see a woman in your life, a friend, a wife, a coworker whose not going for it, just give her a little nudge. Tell her she can do it!  And this is really important for team managers, if a woman passes up going for a promotion or says, “No.” don’t assume she doesn’t want it.  Sit her down, ask her why.  A lot of times when you really dig in, you’ll see that there is a bit of a confidence issue and with a couple words like, "You can do it…..I believe in you...Look what you’ve accomplished in the past!”  You can get her over the hump.

A little encouragement goes a long way.  

So what my ask for all of you here today, is (to) just stop, look again, you may see things differently. Instead of seeing a woman who’s overly assertive, not very likable, you may see a woman who’s really passionate about an idea and just trying to be effective.  Instead of seeing a woman who doesn’t have a lot to say, you may see a woman who is struggling a bit to get a word in and you may be able to find a way to make a space for her.  And instead of seeing a woman who is not ambitious, you may see a woman who’s suffering a bit with confidence and again in a couple words you may be able to make a difference and get her over the hump.

Switching gears...I want to tell you about, we just released the second season of a campaign called Lean In Together With The NBA.  Hopefully some of you have been watching the games and have seen our ad, but it’s all about you....what men can do to support women and the benefits to everyone when you do."

(To be continued…)

BETTER MAN CONFERENCE 2017 IS COMING !

for tickets visit www.bettermanconference.com/register

THANK YOU TO 2017 BETTER MAN CONFERENCE SPONSORS

CONTACT RAY@GENDERLEADERSHIPGROUP.COM TO EXPLORE SPONSORSHIP OPPORTUNITIES.

How Male Allies Can Support Women's Emerging Success

In this blog series starting today and shared in the coming weeks we are going to provide a transcription of Rachel Thomas's talk at the Better Man Conference 2016 as she outlines How Male Allies Can Support Women’s Emerging Success.  Rachel Co Founded Lean In with Facebook’s Chief Operating Officer, Sheryl Sandberg. Lean In has a mission to empower women to achieve their ambitions.

This week Rachel shares a story of hers along with important insights and statistics that point to how both she was treated unfairly, how other women are treated unfairly and what both men and women can start doing to bring awareness to what’s happening before identifying what male allies can do to support women’s equal treatment and therefore advancement.  Below you'll find the excerpt from Rachel Thomas or you can watch the video. 

"So, about a year ago I was at a conference on workplace well being and I looked out at the audience and I made a comment,  “Wow, it’s about fifty/fifty percent women and men, that is great.”

The woman standing next to me, Maxeen Williams, who runs diversity on Facebook and is a woman of color, she said “Rachel, look again.”  And I looked back at the audience and in all honesty it looked a lot like today’s audience.  Very few minorities.  When I looked through her eyes, I saw something different.  

Men always ask, “What can we do?  How can we play our part?How can we support woman?”

And one of the things that men can do is you can take a second look at women and women's experiences.  Do me a favor, raise your hand, if you have been called too aggressive at work?

(Rachel raises hand and so do people in the audience, predominantly women.)

So, there is always some men (who raise their hand).  But we travel all over the country and Sheryl's (from Lean In) traveled all over the world and we talk to two groups of people whenever we ask the question and when it’s an audience of women, every hand in the audience goes up.

When women assert themselves we often see them as being too aggressive.  We like them less.

If you took out your phone right now and you googled “Hillary Clinton and Ambition” and “Donald Trump and Ambition” you would see something very different.  Hillary…”Unbridled Ambition, she’s ruthlessly ambitious”.  Trump …”He has an ambitious deportation plan, he works on ambitious projects, he is proud and ambitious.”

We have a different reaction to women in leadership vs. men in leadership.

There’s a great woman named Karyn Snyder, for those of you who aren’t familiar with her, she is a linguist and she runs a company called Textio.  And what Textio does is it looks at language and things like job descriptions, performance reviews, all types of language but particularly gender language.

So, they recently did a study.  They looked at one hundred and seventy performance reviews conducted by both men and women.  And what they found is women are fifty percent more likely to hear critical feedback in their reviews.  (It’s easy to) start thinking about personal critical feedback about you as a person, your personality, (and) how you interact with people…..(because you hear) comments like, you are abrasive sometimes,  you need to pay attention to your tone, or your peers think sometimes you don’t leave enough room and suggest you to step back to let others shine.  

71 of 94 reviews of women, included comments on them personally.  Only 2 of 83 reviews of men did.  We’re having a different relationship with men and women when they assert themselves.

So, what is going on?  And what can we do about it?

A lot of this is rooted in age old stereotypes and expectations of what it means to be a man and what it means to be a woman.

When we think of women the stereotype is nurturing, collaborative, kind.  When we think of men (it’s) strong, assertive, in the lead.  So, what happens is when men lead, we’re really comfortable with it.  We expect you to lead, we celebrate you when you do.  When women lead, it can be a little bit more complicated.  It’s not the expectation, so sometimes women feel push back.  And I want to be really clear, when I say, “we”, I mean everybody.  I don’t mean men are doing this. I mean men and women are doing this.  We all fall into these stereotypes. And I also want to be clear it’s unconscious.  I don’t believe anyone in this room is walking around going, “Wow, when women assert themselves, I really don’t like them.”   This is really unconscious - deep rooted and powerful.

So, one of the things that you can do is look for and listen for the language of what we call the likeability penalty.  When you call a woman “political, pushy, or out for herself”, stop and ask, “What exactly did that woman do?”  And when you hear the answer, follow up with, “Would you feel the same way if a man did the same thing?”  You’ll be surprised by how often the answer is “no”.  And this makes a big difference.  Think to yourself, “Who would you rather promote, the man who has high marks across the board or the woman with really high performance but not as well liked by her peers?” Exactly, we promote the man.  And do this for yourselves as well,

if you have an adverse reaction to a woman just stop and say, “You know...would I feel the same way if a man just said that or if a man just did that?”

I have to admit for the last two years I’ve been putting my interactions with women through this very likeability test.  I’m a woman myself, I run a women’s organization, and I still fall into the trap of judging women more harshly.

The other thing we need to do is realize that women are not having the same experience you are.  So, before I founded Lean In, I co-founded a tech start up and we needed to pitch, we needed to raise money.  So, I built our deck and I ran our pitches.  And after about our second VC pitch, my co-founder who also happened to technically be my boss, he was CEO, he said, “Rachel, I’m really disappointed in you, you’re not pitching in during the Q & A, you’re not giving me enough support.”  And I said, “Andy, do me a favor..at the next pitch, watch.”  So we went and did the pitch and on the way out, the doors had just shut, we get around the sidewalk and he says, “Oh my God, they don’t ask you any questions, I can’t believe you’re speaking as much as you do!”  And this is important for two reasons, one,

Until he looked again, he didn’t see that I was having a different experience but also he was penalizing me for it.

Rightfully so.  I should have been participating, I should have been supporting him...and this is very common.  This is the experience that women often have in meetings.

Research tells us that women get less air time and they often get less credit for their ideas.  In fact, in a typical meeting women talk about 25% of the time.  We also know that women are more likely to be interrupted (versus) men, and to be clear, more likely to be interrupted by both men and women.

So, do a little social science experiment the next time you’re in a meeting and watch for two things:

First, watch where women sit in the room.  

Research will tell you women will often sit at the edge of the room, kind of away from the positions of power.  And then (second)

count how many times are the women and men at the meeting interrupted? You’ll be surprised at what you see.

We also know that women get more blame for failure and less credit for success…."

Watch for blog 2 of this series where Rachel begins outlining specific action steps men can take to support leveling the playing field for women being treated fairly along with supporting their advancement in the workplace.

 

The Better Man Conference 2017 Is Coming !

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Contact Ray@GenderLeadershipGroup.com to explore sponsorship opportunities.

Talent Shortage By 2020-Retaining Women, Millennials, Minorities and White Men

Your organization can't likely afford to lose a qualified woman, millennials, minorities or white men.

In last week's blog we highlighted the first of three "80's" when it comes to advancing systemic changes to becoming a gender equality or gender partnership champion as an organization.  The first "80" is revenue and we noted that 83% of all consumer spending in the U.S. is influenced by women. We went on to encouraged you to examine how advancing more women in to key roles within your organization might support your revenue goals.

Today in  part 4 of our series entitled Inspire Your Company To Engage Men In Advancing Women , we focus on the other two "80's, Talent and Engagement by paraphrasing  what  Jeffery Tobias Halter, author of WHY WOMEN, The Leadership Imperative to Advancing Women and Engaging Men said at the Better Man Conference 2016. 

80-Talent:  Talent is significantly impacted by new entries in to the workforce.   85% of those entries are women and/or minorities but the U.S. is on track for a talent shortage by 2020. By 2020 there's going to be an estimated 52 million jobs to be filled yet only 29 million potential new employees and so there's an expected shortage of 23 million employees.  These are the estimates based on a conservative slow growth economy and are influenced by the fact that 10,000 baby boomers a day are retiring from the workforce .  This trend is expected to continue for the next 15 years. 

To make matters worse, the best and brightest talent aren't likely knocking or going to be knocking on your organization's door.

The oldest millennials are turning 36 this year which says they are the bulk of your middle management and will be your leaders in just a couple years but most millennials don't want to work for your company as they saw their parents "right sized" and "down sized".  44% say they want to have moved on from their employers within the next two years and 66% want to move on by 2020.  Also, only 15% of women and 29% of men are declaring science, technology, engineering and mathematics (STEM) majors.

Women, millennials and multi culturalism  are the three macro trends that are driving the workforce change like never before and so advancing women needs to be a focus for most large organizations.

60% of masters degrees and 58% of bachelor degrees are awarded to women so if you need a bright educated work force, chances are, it's women or will include women.

Meantime, most of the 10,000 boomers retiring daily that were mentioned above are older white men and so your organization can't likely afford to lose any qualified talent whether a woman, millennial, minority or white man.  This is why more and more companies are seeing the need for and taking action on implementing the kind of training that Gender Leadership Group provides.  They see the need for training that supports executive leadership and middle managers in developing and advancing women in to leadership through gender partnership in organizations so they can better leverage the differences between men and women.   Full gender partnership and equality allows an organization to make full use of their existing talent and can lead to more retention of currently employed talent while simultaneously becoming attractive to new talent.

Once again, your organization can't likely afford to lose a qualified woman, millennial, minority or white man.  So organizations need to get better at managing and making full use of talent.

80-Engagement: 

For most companies engagement is defined as a function of productivity influenced by the level of engagement from the staff or talent. This drives operating profit. 

An integrated framework for advancing a culture change must consider revenue, operating profit and company reputation and then you have to engage every function in your organization including sales, marketing, operations, supply chain, human resources and Sr. leadership.  Everyone has to be engaged, not just human resources.  A  companywide integrated communication is needed to deliver a consistent message to staff.

When it comes to advancing women as a cultural norm or an area of growth, Target is doing this well.  They have women in their DNA.   Nike is changing their DNA.  Within 5 years, women's athletic apparel will be their number one seller outpacing men's tennis shoes.  Nike shows us thatcompanies can reinvent themselves.  Chevron is doing a program called Engineering Her Way.  They take female college juniors and put them on oil rigs.  The first thing they do is train the men to be accepting of the women so they feel safe. Kimberly-Clark, Amazon, Lockheed Martin, ATT, PBWC and Wal-Mart all have initiatives in place to advance women.  You can learn more about those initiatives by watching from the 6 minute mark on the video above.

For a culture to be supportive of advancing women in to leadership in most large organizations, male champions must be engaged to support t the initiative.  These are men who are committed to mentoring and/or advancing women in to leadership through culture change. They are an advocate for gender equality.  Male champions usually have a great sense of fairness, a non biased view of talent, understand the business case for advancing women and are usually fathers of daughters.  But most men think compartmentally and therefore most fathers don't make the connection.  They could be great dads but might not make the connection that if they aren't advocating for women in the workplace, that they are likely hurting their daughter's future.  Father's of daughters have a responsibility to do the work required to support advancing women in to leadership.

That work often includes men evolving  what they see as the male cultural norms or the "man code" .  The man code includes things such as avoiding all things femininity, being a man's man, being  a winner, being strong.   It's important to tell the story because as a man in an organization, he has to overcome or evolve the male cultural norms to fully embrace the talent and gifts many women have to offer.

Most of the above was paraphrased from this video shot at the Better Man Conference 2016.

In summary, to drive operating profit, most large companies should maximize the use of their existing talent, retain their existing talent and become attractive to new talent as there is a talent shortage on the horizon.  You need women, millennials, minorities and white men on your team.  Organizations should develop a culture that is attractive to various talent segments such as women.  Companies that engage in cultural change initiatives such as what Gender Leadership Group has to offer for advancing women and gender partnership by engaging and supporting the evolution of men and what it means to be a man, have a greater chance for continued growth and success.

The video discussion panel the paraphrase above is taken from takes place in front of an audience made up of corporate leaders from organizations including Microsoft, Ebay, PwC, PG&E, Genentech, Hanson Bridgett, Hewlett Packard Enterprise, Visa and more.

Better Man Conference sponsors include: PG & E, Hanson Bridgett, Genentech, Mankind Project, PwC, San Francisco Giants, and the 3% Conference.

Marketing partners include: Lean In, The Bay Area Council, The Representation Project, Anita Borg Institute, WiRL, Institute For Women's Leadership, Institute For Gender Partnership, Griggs Productions, Women In Technology International

Visit www.BetterManConference.com for upcoming events

Visit www.GenderLeadershipGroup.com to learn about training for your organization.

Women Influence 83% Of All Consumer Spending In U.S.

In Pt. 3 of our video series, Inspire Your Company To Engage Men In Advancing Women, author of WHY WOMEN, The Leadership Imperative to Advancing Women and Engaging Men, Jeffery Tobias Halter continues the conversation of how to drive operating profit and efficiency while leveraging unique aspects of diversity including the advancement of women by addressing three major areas of focus for companies:

1. The first thing you need to do is talk about your business case every day. Women influence 7 trillion dollars of spending in the US annually in this country and influence 83% of all consumer spending in the United States.

As a middle manager of a department at a Fortune 250 company, how much a woman spends doesn't mean anything to him. He needs a business case at his level that he can talk about and understand and have accountability for. Then he can start to manage talent differently and ask tough questions while holding people accountable.

2. He also needs to deepen his cultural competency. He needs to talk with people he doesn't have common traits with and get to know them.

3. Finally, focus on advancing the appropriate symbolic gestures and systemic changes to becoming a gender equality or gender partnership champion as an organization.

Jeff discusses the 80/80/80 which represents three things that every business leader is interested in.  The:

o    First 80 is Revenue

o    Second 80 is Talent

o    Third 80 is Engagement:

Below is a paraphrase of what he shares on the video:  Every organization has their own way of tracking numbers so plug these in for your company.  Read on below or watch the video to learn more about the first 80, Revenue.  Talent and Engagement will be addressed in an upcoming video/blog/newsletter.

80-Revenue:  Women are the economy of the US. 83% of everything sold in the non business to business setting is done or influenced by women. 

Consider how your revenue goals and performance are influenced by women.  Does your product or service consider their interest?  Should it?  Is your leadership team considering and fully utilizing the talent, insight and wisdom of the women on your staff as related to generating revenue in relation to your product or service?  Should your team bring on more qualified women or support the development or more qualified women staff, middle managers or managers in to the c suite?  Even if your product or service isn't woman focused or influenced, might qualified women offer unique perspective in to how your organizations runs or could run for optimum results?

Women are the economy of the US. 83% of everything sold in the non business to business setting is done or influenced by women.  That's 7 trillion dollars, larger than the economy of Indian and China Combined.  89% of financial service decisions are made by women and control 40% of investable wealth and they inheriting another 30% of it when their husband dies and men typically die first.  Women live another 15 years and 60% of the time she fires the male financial planner because he has always been patronizing to her.   The first thing she does is turn to her friend and ask who her financial planner is.   Transferring of wealth to women in this country is in the trillions of dollars.

Women  influence 70% of car purchases in this country yet we don't have a place for a women's purse in cars. It's the most important thing in her life other than her children because it houses her entire life including her children.  The purse isn't strapped in when she's driving and when she hits the break, her entire life goes spilling out.  Lexus RX 350 is the bestselling car among women and it's likely because there's a big open trough on the floor where she can put her purse.

Women are making 80% of the health care decisions.  Bristol-Meyers calls her the "Home Health Category Manager" because she's making decisions for the immediate family and the parents.

Another example of women influencing spending is that of houses.   Men are not typically buying the house unless his wife or partner is on board.  And "do it yourself" home improvement projects supported by things purchased at Lowes and Home Depot are also significantly influenced by women.   Women are more likely to be thinking or saying, "Oh God, that bathroom is hideous, we've got to tear that out.  The paint in the foyer, when is the last time we did that?".  Men are typically pretty happy doing their guy stuff on the weekend.  Women are the influencers of most home improvement projects.

Once again, the expenditure of 83% of all consumable income in this country is either spent or influenced by women.  Consider how your revenue goals are influenced by the power of women or perhaps should be.

The video discussion panel this paraphrase is taken from takes place in front of an audience made up of corporate leaders from organizations including Microsoft, Ebay, PwC, PG&E, Genentech, Hanson Bridgett, Hewlett Packard Enterprise, Visa and more.

Better Man Conference sponsors include: PG & E, Hanson Bridgett, Genentech, Mankind Project, PwC, San Francisco Giants, and the 3% Conference.

Marketing partners include: Lean In, The Bay Area Council, The Representation Project, Anita Borg Institute, WiRL, Institute For Women's Leadership, Institute For Gender Partnership, Griggs Productions, Women In Technology International

Visit www.BetterManConference.com for upcoming events

Visit www.GenderLeadershipGroup.com to learn about training for your organization.

Engaging Sr. Leaders Is A Head & Heart Conversation

In Pt 2 of our video series, Inspire Your Company To Engage Men In Advancing Women, author of WHY WOMEN, The Leadership Imperative to Advancing Women and Engaging Men, Jeffery Tobias Halter addresses how to drive operating profit and efficiency while leveraging unique aspects of diversity including the advancement of women.  He points to conversations that engage Sr. leaders on both a head and heart level and suggests that Sr. leaders must inspire both of the following to happen:

1.  Engage middle managers in your diversity goals.

2.  Eradicate corporate gender fatigue as leaders often looking around the organization, see many women and think they are doing a good job of diversity in relation to women but the numbers don't reflect this.

Jeff goes on to share statistics, the four reasons to do an integrated women's leadership strategy, why a "diversity journey" for a company is the wrong strategy and more.

This discussion panel takes place in front of an audience made up of corporate leaders from organizations including Microsoft, Ebay, PwC, PG&E, Genentech, Hanson Bridgett, Hewlett Packard Enterprise, Visa and more.

Better Man Conference 2016 sponsors include: PG & E, Hanson Bridgett, Genentech, Mankind Project, PwC, San Francisco Giants, and the 3% Conference.

Marketing partners include: Lean In, The Bay Area Council, The Representation Project, Anita Borg Institute, WiRL, Institute For Women's Leadership, Institute For Gender Partnership, Griggs Productions, Women In Technology International

Visit www.BetterManConference.com for upcoming events

Visit www.GenderLeadershipGroup.com to learn about training for your organization.

 

 

 

 

Inspire Your Company To Engage Men In Advancing Women

In this video series, author of WHY WOMEN, The Leadership Imperative to Advancing Women and Engaging Men, Jeffery Tobias Halter shares information on how to inspire your company to engage men to advance women in support of equality by sharing facts, data and a framework for talking to senior leadership teams which includes connecting with both their heads and hearts.

This discussion panel takes place in front of an audience made up of corporate leaders from organizations including Microsoft, Ebay, PwC, PG&E, Genentech, Hanson Bridgett, Hewlett Packard Enterprise, Visa and more.

Better Man Conference sponsors include: PG & E, Hanson Bridgett, Genentech, Mankind Project, PwC, San Francisco Giants, and the 3% Conference.

Marketing partners include: Lean In, The Bay Area Council, The Representation Project, Anita Borg Institute, WiRL, Institute For Women's Leadership, Institute For Gender Partnership, Griggs Productions, Women In Technology International

Visit www.BetterManConference.com for upcoming events

Visit www.GenderLeadershipGroup.com to learn about training for your organization.

How To Be An "Alpha Male" According To Wolves

Co-Founding partner of Gender Leadership Group, Ed Gurowitz posted an article by Reader's Digest with a headline that says, "How To Be An Alpha Male According To Wolves" on his Facebook feed.  He included a note that says, "Strong lessons here on healthy masculinity." 

The article outlines the following and more:

  • It's likely that wolves and humans are most alike behaviorally over any other two species.
  • Stereotypes of what is means to be an alpha male misunderstand the real thing.
  • Male alpha wolves main characteristics include a calming presence on the pack along with leading by example, a quiet confidence and knowing what needs to be done in service of the pack.

We invite you to read the article found at this link and consider what you can take from it in service of your role at your organization.

Top 8 Ways To Engage Men In Full Gender Partnership In Your Workplace

As you consider your plans for 2017, I encourage you to quickly register to review this complimentary Top 8 Ways To Engage Men In Full Gender Partnership In Your Workplace document and consider which of these you might put more attention on or share with others as you build and advance your 2017 organizational development and/or diversity and inclusion goals.

Top 8 Ways To Engage Men In Full Gender Partnership In Your Workplace

  1. Bring men together.
  2. Have honest conversations about the impact of gender.
  3. Help men "get" that gender bias still exists.
  4. Engage men's sense of fair play.
  5. Encourage men in behaviors that are linked to awareness of gender bias.
  6. Encourage men to champion and be architects of win-win outcomes.
  7. Engage men's innate desire to take action.
  8. Attach accountability to actions to support productive business outcomes

Quickly sign up to download the full complimentary pdf here for more details. Consider printing and hanging it somewhere so that it's top of mind and you can reference it regularly. 

 

Pt. 2 Psychological Safety Leads To Highest Levels Of Effectiveness?

In Part 1 of this two part video series, Boysen  Hodgson, Communications Director of the ManKind Project pointed out that Google did a two year study to examine what makes an effective team. The answer, psychological safety.  He shared his story of how derogatory names directed at his sexuality led him to quit singing on stage because it didn't feel psychologically safe for him to continue singing.  He went on to point out that many men are dying earlier or experiencing depression, alcoholism, are guilty of domestic violence and more due to lack of psychological safety. 

In part two of this video series, Boysen says that men can join the ManKind Project or other organizations to grow their ability to experience psychological safety and to develop tools for listening, processing hard emotions and working through conflict in the world.  He shares that the benefits of making this effort include:

  • More effective teams at work.
  • Impacting the bottom line positively at work.
  • Creating more partnership with others.
  • Contributing to everyone thriving.

Additionally, Boysen shares that he personally does makes the effort because it feels good and better in his body as a father and as a man to be alive and fully embodied, to play and to share the parts of himself that he didn't share in the past and to invite emotional intelligence with his daughters. He indicates it benefits him, his neighborhood and community.  Click on the video above for more.

This discussion panel takes place in front of an audience made up of corporate leaders from organizations including Microsoft, Ebay, PwC, PG&E, Genentech, Hanson Bridgett, Hewlett Packard Enterprise, Visa and more.

Better Man Conference sponsors include: PG & E, Hanson Bridgett, Genentech, Mankind Project, PwC, San Francisco Giants, and the 3% Conference.

Marketing partners include: Lean In, The Bay Area Council, The Representation Project, Anita Borg Institute, WiRL, Institute For Women's Leadership, Institute For Gender Partnership, Griggs Productions, Women In Technology International

Visit www.BetterManConference.com for upcoming events

Visit www.GenderLeadershipGroup.com to learn about training for your organization.

Write here...

Psychological Safety Leads To Highest Levels Of Effectiveness?

Google did a two year study to examine what makes an effective team.  The answer, psychological safety.

In Part 1 of this two part video series, Boysen Hodges, Communications Director of the Mankind Project shares his story of how derogatory names directed at his sexuality led him to quit singing on stage because it felt safer as a young man to not share that part of himself anymore.  In other words, it didn't feel psychologically safe for Boysen to continue singing.

In addition to abandoning his singing, he mentions that there are personal costs to the old paradigm of masculinity which can include men dying earlier, depression, alcoholism, domestic violence and more.  He also says that many men have no idea what psychological safety is or that it even exists.

If psychological safety is necessary for reaching the highest levels of success, then the fact that many men (and likely women too) don't have any idea of what psychological safety is leads to more risk that lack of it is keeping your team from reaching it's full potential.

In this two part video series, Boysen shares his story, addresses where men can go to learn more about psychological safety and to develop tools for listening, processing hard emotions and working through conflict in the world.  

This discussion panel takes place in front of an audience made up of corporate leaders from organizations including Microsoft, Ebay, PwC, PG&E, Genentech, Hanson Bridgett, Hewlett Packard Enterprise, Visa and more.

Better Man Conference sponsors include: PG & E, Hanson Bridgett, Genentech, Mankind Project, PwC, San Francisco Giants, and the 3% Conference.

Marketing partners include: Lean In, The Bay Area Council, The Representation Project, Anita Borg Institute, WiRL, Institute For Women's Leadership, Institute For Gender Partnership, Griggs Productions, Women In Technology International

Visit www.BetterManConference.com for upcoming events

Visit www.GenderLeadershipGroup.com to learn about training for your organization.

 


 

Pt. 3 Developing Influence Partners For Gender Equality & Partnership

In the prior videos of this Gender Leadership Group video blog series entitled, A Few Keys To Developing Influence Partners,  Chuck Shelton shared and discussed the first 2 of the 3 following key points:

-I will pursue personal accountability to lead as a male ally to women.
-I will build relationships with trust and reciprocity with women at work.
-I will influence other men as peers and as a male ally to women.

In part 2, he took a closer look at the second key on the list above, "I will build relationships with trust and reciprocity with women at work." which led to a discussion of the three categories of male leader or manager behavior.  These are examined so those committed to advancing gender equality and gender partnership within the organization can look for these traits when ascertaining how to develop plans to engage those men in becoming influence partners to support the cause.

This week he continues the conversation by pointing out the following in relation to building relationships with trust and reciprocity:

-Respect and Candor:  Typically men view candor as an expression of respect.  When men provide direct feedback and aren't afraid to give it for fear of a woman's response, respect and candor can work together to build the gender partnership relationship.

-Humility and Courage:   Men often need to give humility attention and women often more courage.  Sometimes as men lean in and step up to lead in the gender equality or gender partnership arena, there are women who are often cynical and feel hopeless.  It may take courage for them to be open to the possibility that men may show up differently and more usefully in regards to gender equality and gender partnership.  That courage is important because it's tough to lead to great results if one is coming from a cynical place.

-Care and Complexity:  If you want to lead, you have to care about our human beings.

In addition to the above, he addresses key point 3, "I will influence men as peers as a male ally to women.", shares insight on research called, "The White Men's Leadership Study" and more in part 3.  To watch the video now on the Gender Leadership Group video blog, click on the video below.  

This discussion panel takes place in front of an audience made up of corporate leaders from organizations including Microsoft, Ebay, PwC, PG&E, Genentech, Hanson Bridgett, Hewlett Packard Enterprise, Visa and more.

Better Man Conference sponsors include: PG & E, Hanson Bridgett, Genentech, Mankind Project, PwC, San Francisco Giants, and the 3% Conference.

Marketing partners include: Lean In, The Bay Area Council, The Representation Project, Anita Borg Institute, WiRL, Institute For Women's Leadership, Institute For Gender Partnership, Griggs Productions, Women In Technology International

Visit www.BetterManConference.com for upcoming events

Visit www.GenderLeadershipGroup.com to learn about training for your organization.

Pt. 2 Developing Influence Partners For Gender Equality & Partnership

In last week's Gender Leadership Group video blog, pioneer and leader in the field of Diversity and Inclusion, Chuck Shelton shared A Few Keys To Developing Influence Partners which include:

-I will pursue personal accountability to lead as a male ally to women.
-I will build relationships with trust and reciprocity with women at work.
-I will influence other men as peers and as a male ally to women.

This week when referring to the first key, personal accountability of men as allies to women, he describes three categories of male leader or manager behavior.   Those committed to advancing gender equality and gender partnership within the organization can look for these traits in leaders and managers when ascertaining how to develop plans to engage those men in becoming influence partners to support the cause.

The three categories of behavior are lagging, learning and leading.  Watch the video below to learn about these behaviors and more.

This discussion panel takes place in front of an audience made up of corporate leaders from organizations including Microsoft, Ebay, PwC, PG&E, Genentech, Hanson Bridgett, Hewlett Packard Enterprise, Visa and more.

Better Man Conference sponsors include: PG & E, Hanson Bridgett, Genentech, Mankind Project, PwC, San Francisco Giants, and the 3% Conference.

Marketing partners include: Lean In, The Bay Area Council, The Representation Project, Anita Borg Institute, WiRL, Institute For Women's Leadership, Institute For Gender Partnership, Griggs Productions, Women In Technology International

Visit www.BetterManConference.com for upcoming events

Visit www.GenderLeadershipGroup.com to learn about training for your organization.

Pt. 1 Developing Influence Partners For Gender Equality & Partnership

Pioneer and leader in field of Diversity and Inclusion, Chuck Shelton was told at a young age, "I need you to take responsibility for being white so you become part of the solution and not part of my problem." by a respected African American Pastor while at a racial reconciliation work shop with his parents shortly after Dr. Martin Luther King was assassinated.   

The events mentioned above served as a catalyst for who Chuck is today.  In this first video of a series and found below, he tells the story above in more detail, begins covering three keys to developing influence partners to advance gender equality as listed below and shares more.  

A Few Keys To Developing Influence Partners:  
-I will pursue personal accountability to lead as a male ally to women.
-I will build relationships with trust and reciprocity with women at work.
-I will influence other men as peers and as a male ally to women.

This discussion panel takes place in front of an audience made up of corporate leaders from organizations including Microsoft, Ebay, PwC, PG&E, Genentech, Hanson Bridgett, Hewlett Packard Enterprise, Visa and more.

Better Man Conference sponsors include: PG & E, Hanson Bridgett, Genentech, Mankind Project, PwC, San Francisco Giants, and the 3% Conference.

Marketing partners include: Lean In, The Bay Area Council, The Representation Project, Anita Borg Institute, WiRL, Institute For Women's Leadership, Institute For Gender Partnership, Griggs Productions, Women In Technology International

Visit www.BetterManConference.com for upcoming events

Visit www.GenderLeadershipGroup.com to learn about training for your organization.

Pt. 2-Men Standing For Women-5 Steps To Equality

In part 2 of this video series (scroll down to see video) Men Standing for Women, Dale Thomas Vaughn, Co-Founder of Gender Leadership Group mentions a published report by Price Waterhouse Cooper that indicates Millennials say over 50% of companies talk about diversity but that they do not feel opportunities are actually equal for all.

Dale, a millennial himself says, "Talking about sexism and gender norms and diversity like it's a new concept is not working.  We (millennials) are tired of this talk.  We are not going to take it.  I'm here to talk about what does it take to flip the switch and actually do something.  The companies that flip the switch are going to thrive and those who don't will fail.  Your business is on the line."

He then goes on to cite "5 Steps To Flip The Switch To Create Gender Equality & Diversity" that Gender Leadership Group recommends for companies.

1.     Recognize reasons for gender partnership. (business case, personal case, moral case).
2.    Male leaders taking gender partnership and equality seriously and getting help from outside the bubble because bias is likely blinding them.
3.    Filter the equality standard at the grassroots level through diversity and equality ERGs but let them know they have air cover so they can actually get things done.
4.    Middle managers need to understand unconscious bias getting in the way of their leadership journey.
5.    Tie all the above to business imperatives and involve women throughout the journey.

This discussion panel takes place in front of an audience made up of corporate leaders from organizations including Microsoft, Ebay, PwC, PG&E, Genentech, Hanson Bridgett, Hewlett Packard Enterprise, Visa and more.

Better Man Conference sponsors include: PG & E, Hanson Bridgett, Genentech, Mankind Project, PwC, San Francisco Giants, and the 3% Conference.

Marketing partners include: Lean In, The Bay Area Council, The Representation Project, Anita Borg Institute, WiRL, Institute For Women's Leadership, Institute For Gender Partnership, Griggs Productions, Women In Technology International

Visit www.BetterManConference.com for upcoming events

Visit www.GenderLeadershipGroup.com to learn about training for your organization.

Men Standing For Women

"Men should be the ones who stand up to say let's stop sexism and sexual assault, let's make a difference and let's help these women who we call our mothers, our sisters, our girlfriends, cousins our friends. Men have to be the one who stand alongside women...."

That's what millennial and Co Founder of Gender Leadership Group, Dale Thomas Vaughn  told CNN on the air when interviewed 10 years ago.

In this two part video series, Dale shares his story of  the terror he experienced receiving death threats and messages suggesting he was "ruining masculinity" after that interview 10 years ago to more recently receiving love notes as gender equality and gender partnership are progressing with people asking him how they can get involved after being featured on Huff Post Live.

He notes that even though there is progress being made, there is still work to be done.  He describes a new problem  on the path to gender equality and shares "5 Steps To Flip The Switch To Create Gender Equality and Diversity."

This discussion panel takes place in front of an audience made up of corporate leaders from organizations including Microsoft, Ebay, PwC, PG&E, Genentech, Hanson Bridgett, Hewlett Packard Enterprise, Visa and more.

Better Man Conference sponsors include: PG & E, Hanson Bridgett, Genentech, Mankind Project, PwC, San Francisco Giants, and the 3% Conference.

Marketing partners include: Lean In, The Bay Area Council, The Representation Project, Anita Borg Institute, WiRL, Institute For Women's Leadership, Institute For Gender Partnership, Griggs Productions, Women In Technology International

Visit www.BetterManConference.com for upcoming events

Visit www.GenderLeadershipGroup.com to learn about training for your organization.

Wholeness As A Man Includes Being Caring, Sensitive, Vulnerable & More.

In this video, former NFL player, college football hall of famer and feminist, Don McPherson continues his discussion on healthy masculinity by pointing out that being loving, caring,sensitive, passive, submissive, vulnerable and empathetic isn't feminine, it's part of his wholeness as a man.

The video starts with him continuing the discussion about how he (and many other men) learned what it meant to be a man long ago by hearing statements that included , "You throw like a girl." which is misogynistic and sexist or "Man up.", "Suck it up.", "Don't cry" or don't show emotion which lead to  a very narrow definition of masculinity.

He goes on to point out that society generally teaches men what "not to be" vs. what "to be" in their wholeness and further discusses how to develop young boys in to men with healthy masculinity.

This discussion panel takes place in front of an audience made up of corporate leaders from organizations including Microsoft, Ebay, PwC, PG&E, Genentech, Hanson Bridgett, Hewlett Packard Enterprise, Visa and more.

Better Man Conference sponsors include: PG & E, Hanson Bridgett, Genentech, Mankind Project, PwC, San Francisco Giants, and the 3% Conference.

Marketing partners include: Lean In, The Bay Area Council, The Representation Project, Anita Borg Institute, WiRL, Institute For Women's Leadership, Institute For Gender Partnership, Griggs Productions, Women In Technology International

Visit www.BetterManConference.com for upcoming events

Visit www.GenderLeadershipGroup.com to learn about training for your organization.